About TIME!!
I just finished working on my first new track in 3 weeks and it slipped out wonderfully. Currently working on new material for the CAMMIES electronic music showcase.
My peers nominated me again for the thing (thanks for that if you are one of them).
I'm not going to play a show until then but hope to bring it strong and fresh for the show on April 10? I think that's the date.
I haven't been writing music for quite a while now. Just writing words, poetry mostly. I've been reading William Blake and Carl Sanburg and made a book of poems for Anna.
But, I feel it brewing. Music is bubbling just under the surface. Creative ideas take "creative idleness" and instead of vomitting up embryonic ideas all the time, I find they come out much more whole if I let them incubate and rest under my soul for a while. Watching blue-jays with nuts in their mouths and wondering what I sound like to them, watching the American flag wave on a bank that took our money yet refuses to lend it.
Taking the time to really perceive and feel until I end up at a place of a calm, deeper truth of some kind. Writers block is just a way I'm being told to shut up and listen for awhile. I love writing poetry and when it's on it's on. I mail things off to literary mags, I write every night in five different journals, I write stories on my laptop and my midi-controller leans up on the side of my bedroom wall next to the TV collecting dust.
I finish writing and feel completely whole and take a nice long drink of Bud Light out of a can. It's the same feeling I get when writing music when that's on.
But when it's off, I write garbage and I've been doing it long enough now to know right away if it's total garbage or has potential. When it's coming out with difficulty, I can it, walk away because my only real artistic fear is forcing out a constructed character of myself in the name of productivity. I've been really hesitant to play shows right now because of this.
Anybody need me for a poetry reading? I'm available.
The music though is coming. I'm at that point right now where I'm tapping the top of the bloated can and about to pull back the pop top.
So I just played at Valentine's Massacre over at TiON. I was really skeptical that the crowd would respond or even enjoy the kind of music I make. To add to that, I haven't been working on music for at least 3 weeks now, I've been way more inspired with writing. I wrote a book of poems for my wife and published a few copies of that. I got something published by Mothering Magazine...Hahahaha I know. Now I get to say that the first National magazine that did anything with my writing was "Mothering." So that's where my head's been at, I've turned down shows in March and I don't have any lined up after that.
Anyway, back to the Goth/Electro/Industrial show. I was surprised at how much the dark kids liked my set. I wasn't feeling it like usual though, and in the mix cut about 3 tracks out so I could be done in 40 minutes. I rolled out some oldies and ended the set with a trance track I wrote WAAAAAAAY back. So it was all good fun and I appreciate the gig but now it's back to sexy, quiet home production and poetry. I'll be working on music for Bumper Car City again without feeling obligated to a certain "type" of music fan.
In a strange twist of fate, I saw Raul and family at Ikea whilst looking for a rug to put in my new living room the day after the show at Tion. He's such a cool guy and it just feels good to be making music for his project. That's all I really want to do right now.
And I hear a friend was carried away in an ambulance. I hope he's okay.
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